I’m my biological son’s uncle – donating my sister’s sperm was the right thing to do

This is brotherly love.

Adam Zayden, 25, loved his sister Jade, 29, so much he gave her their family gift – donating his sperm to his sister-in-law.

Prospects for a donor father were slim for Jade and her wife Eefje, 30, who had been trying to conceive since 2018. Meanwhile, Adam was there to offer support, listening to the increasingly terrifying efforts of couple to start their family.

After three years of listening to their struggle, Adam made them an offer. “They would be so frustrated with the donor process it just felt like the right thing to do and the ‘easy’ thing to do,” Adam, a social media influencer from Newham, London, told the South West News Service. This whole process has made me much closer to my sister and her partner.”

Jade, a researcher and developer, and Eefje, a veterinarian, had decided to have a biological child.

“They basically started ‘dating’ for a donor,” Adam recalled, explaining that their insurance policy in Amsterdam, where the couple is currently, does not cover artificial insemination — making the search for a father. “wide enough.”

To make matters worse, many of the available donors insisted that they conceived the “natural way”, ie. intercourse as opposed to intracervical insemination (ICI) when a woman inserts a man’s sperm into her cervix with a syringe-like device.

One such candidate even refused his donor contract.

“He literally came back and said he wanted to do things the ‘natural’ way,” Adam said. “He wanted to sleep with my sister-in-law” which was never in the realm of what they wanted.

Jade described the search as an “emotional roller coaster”.

“You’re opening yourself up at the most vulnerable times,” she told South West News Service. “You are essentially welcoming strangers into your life. Then you depend on strangers to help fulfill one of your biggest dreams.”

Added Eefje, “You’re also exposed to a lot of potential hate. Whether it’s by sharing your experience, or just in general when looking for a donor.”

Tired of being shamed by unscrupulous donors, the couple finally approached Adam with their plea.

“They used to joke about me giving them mine, but I didn’t realize they were open to it,” Adam recalled.

He called it one of the easiest decisions he’s ever had to make.

“It wasn’t really a big deal. I’m a weird person myself and I don’t see myself having kids,” he said.

The sibling trio worked for months – between December 2021 and June 2022 – to conceive.

“Every night during that one-week period, Jade took the dog out for a walk,” Adam said of the time. “I was going to go upstairs, do my thing and hand Eefje the sperm.”

In June 2022, Eefje’s pregnancy test finally came back positive. Their baby was born on March 18, 2023.

“I’m his uncle, but I’m known as ‘daddy,'” explained Adam, now also the baby’s biological father. “He is a very happy, cheerful child.”

Jade has said she is thrilled with the outcome of her and Eefje’s donor search.

“It was nice to have someone you really know and trust because it’s such an emotional time,” she said.